Sunday, July 15, 2007

1.18 - The Robot Cat

MONKEY ISLAND, AUGUST 1988 - There is no scientific explanation for it, except to credit it to advanced artificial intelligence. The search for the ultimate cat, one that would combine both mousing and birding abilities, coupled with the intelligence of a standard-bred cat and the obedience and loyalty of an average Golden Retriever. Breeding such an animal was out of the question; electronics had to be the answer.

Artificial intelligence and the most advanced bio-mechanical animatronics are joined together to create the ultimate pet: RoboCat 2002. An incredibly lifelike simulation, it manages to mimic everything about cats, specializing in arrogance. From insisting on, then ignoring various gourmet foods (ingesting anything would, of course, destroy the circuitry. Conversely though, food must be placed in front of it twice a day, or else it will walk figure eights around your ankles while meowing for ninety minutes. There is no way to override this mode; in fact, the power supply compartment door locks itself shut), to expectorating artificial hairballs (actually very fine wire and excess battery acids, these are far superior to feline hairballs in that the battery acid insures destruction of any surface).

Robot cats are available in most breeds. However, technology limits the choice of eye color to the red/orange family. It is hoped that later generations will offer more natural eye color selection, though for now it's handy to be able to tell these cats apart from biological ones.

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